Everything a patient can find about you lives on a listing you don't control. It sits in a row with three other practices, under a paid ad for a fourth.

Nobody can find out who they'd be seeing. People don't choose a clinic, they choose the person in the room — and there isn't one to choose.

The procedures you actually do aren't written down anywhere. Someone with a specific problem has to phone to find out whether you treat it, and most of them phone someone else instead.

The only way to book is to call while you're open. The decision gets made at eleven at night, and by morning it's gone.

Every patient who would recommend you has nowhere to send anyone. The referral arrives as a name said out loud, and dies there.

The "Book Appointment" button opens a contact form. Nothing gets booked — someone still has to call back, and the patient still doesn't know when they're being seen.

Every service you offer sits on one long page. Someone searching for the single procedure they need lands on the homepage and has to read their way to it.

The photos are stock. The room in them isn't your room, the person in them doesn't work there, and people can tell.

The team page says "our team of experienced professionals." No names, no credentials, no faces — on the one page that exists to answer "who is going to be treating me."

On a phone, the hours and the address are inside an image and the number isn't tappable. That's the device almost everyone reads it on.

What it costs, and whether you take their insurance, is nowhere on the site. That's the question they came to answer, so they go and answer it somewhere else.